News and Events this week
Ron’s Record Store in Frinton Close: Following news last week that this shop was selling a copy of “The Israelites” by Desmond Decker, we are mounting a 24-hour vigil to stop anybody entering the store until a) it is permanently closed down b) Ron issues a statement disassociating himself with the Zionist entity ; and c) Ron is evicted from the Old Age Home where he has been living for the past 12 years. Remember: no violence is necessary (rocks through the windows are, however, permissible).
Pensioners Travel in the High Road: As you know this travel agents’ had been advertising cruises that stop at Israel-occupied Haifa. During our non-violent demonstration at the store last week in which we poured 8,000 gallons of red ink representing Palestinian blood on their floor, and burnt every brochure with the word ‘Israel’ in it, we discovered an invoice showing that Mr and Mrs Jones of Frinton Mews have booked a cruise stopping at Haifa for their Golden Wedding Anniversary. Hence see events below.
Starting Monday We will be holding a ‘lock-in’ outside the Jones's bungalow in Frinton Mews. We will peacefully stop anybody leaving or entering the bungalow until the Jones’s cancel their cruise booking and donate all of the money for the trip (plus an additional donation of £28,000) to the Palestine Foundation for Homicide Bombers.
Tuesday: We are planning a new peaceful tactic called a “scream-in die-in” at Tesco Express on the High Road. Although we succeeded in banning all Zionist products from the store two years ago, the store manager has refused our reasonable request to donate 93% of all future profits from the store to the Palestine Training Centre for Teenage Stabbers. By starving this superb training Centre of desperately needed funding, Tesco is directly contributing to the brutal murder of 1000 Palestinian babies every day by the Zionist occupation forces. Hence the "scream-in die in" will simulate these murders. Our members will scream for 2 hours and then lie on the floor pretending to be dead babies.
Wednesday: At Frinton Town Hall we will be debating the motion "Zionism is ten times worse than Nazism". Speaking for the motion is the esteemed scholar Farooq Hitler Hussain from the Iranian Academy of Anti-Zionism. To demonstrate our fair-mindedness we have invited a Jewess (Hannah Dumbfeld of the Jewish pro-peace Yucked organisation) who will propose the counter-motion "Zionism is only a little bit worse than Nazism".
Thursday: Singing and leafleting in the High Road. We have some exciting new leaflets with beautifully photoshopped images of dead babies and the banner headline: "Israel does this with YOUR tax money". We will be singing for 3 hours non-stop a new version of the song "From the river to the sea Palestine will be free". In this version after each 20 repetitions we will add the words "No Zionists in Frinton-on-Sea"
Friday: Demonstration outside WH Smiths for continuing to sell copies of the book "A Children's World Atlas" that includes a map of the Middle East with the Zionist entity named as "Israel".
Saturday: Trip to the nearest synagogue (Southend) for "Zionism=Nazism" wall-painting. Note: we are NOT anti-Semites so please remember to scream “Zionist scum” and not “Jewish scum” when the worshippers come out after the Sabbath service.
*satire but not much different to the activities of dozens of local "Palestine Solidarity Committees"
alternative version of this post
Hugging the Jew haters